Posted on October 23, 2020 in Divorce

You often hear about people getting remarried after getting divorced, but it typically means marrying someone new. That first relationship is over. A few years down the line, they meet someone else, fall in love and try to give marriage a second shot.

But what if you want to marry the same person for a second time? Is that possible, or does the divorce legally cut off your relationship forever?

While this isn’t a common practice, it is certainly not illegal. You can get divorced, decide it was a mistake and get married again.

One reason that people do this is when they have children together. The marriage may have gone through a rough patch, but even a divorce doesn’t end their actual relationship since they’re both still parents to those children. They see each other often and have to work together to raise the kids. After a few years, they may realize that they wish they’d just stayed married.

It’s wise to remember, however, that second marriages tend to lead to divorce more often. Granted, these statistics often refer to second marriages to new people, not to the same people, but the risk is higher. If you get divorced and then married again, are you really just increasing the odds that you’ll turn around a go through a second divorce?

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 Posted on October 14, 2020 in Child Custody

It’s sometimes hard for parents to share custody rights. Maybe your children tell you that they don’t want to go stay with your ex. Maybe you don’t like the living environment they’re subjected to when they’re at that person’s home. You may be sorely tempted to cut off all visitation, but can you?

First and foremost, violating a court order is illegal — and your parenting plan is a court order. Do not refuse to let your ex see the kids if the order says that they should. You could face very serious ramifications.

The main reason that visitation or custody rights get revoked is when a parent is deemed to be a threat to the safety of the kids. Only a very real threat is considered important enough. If your ex is abusive and you have pictures of the injuries to prove it, for instance, the court will not want to keep the children in that dangerous situation. You can get the order changed and may even be able to get a protection order against your ex.

Many things you may think are abhorrent won't be viewed that way by the court. Maybe your ex allows the kids to skip doing their homework and just lets them watch TV. Is that good for them? Of course not. They need to do their work and your ex should want to engage with them and spend time with them. However, doing a poor job of parenting is not the same as posing a threat. Don’t deny visitation for things like this.

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 Posted on October 07, 2020 in Divorce

Divorce can be very stressful and often involves two people that love each other intensely now fighting tooth and nail for custody terms or financial assets. Especially if you have children, that degree of conflict may not be the best option.

Thankfully, you and your spouse do have the option of filing for an uncontested divorce. Mediation is a commonly recommended tool to help people reach terms for an uncontested filing. How does divorce mediation work for a couple?

The two of you will have to negotiate and find a way to compromise

Divorce mediation typically involves the parties involved in a conflict, their legal representatives and a neutral, professional mediator. Mediation is not binding until the two of you successfully negotiate for terms regarding custody or property division. Once you have found solutions that work for your family, you write them down in a mediation agreement, which you can then present to the court as part of your uncontested filing.

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 Posted on October 01, 2020 in Divorce

The idea of the seven-year-itch is well known. It essentially just means that most couples feel some dissatisfaction around year seven of the marriage. They’re far enough along in the relationship that the newness of it has worn off. They may become unhappy or decide to get divorced and start a new relationship.

But calling it the seven-year-itch may actually be misleading. In one study, researchers found that the most “conflict behaviors” happened in the first year, the third year, the seventh year and then the 16th year.

The early conflict behaviors could mean that the couple wasn’t ready for marriage. If they’re already having serious conflicts in the first 12 months, they may not have been as compatible as they once thought.

Those who struggle with these behaviors — which include things like insulting one another, acting contemptuous, and the like — in the third year of marriage could be couples who weren’t all that happy early on but who pushed through the first two years to see if things got better. When they did not, the level of the conflict between them began to rise. By the seven-year mark, couples may have tried and failed to mend their conflicts.

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 Posted on September 23, 2020 in Child Support

If paying your child support often leaves you financially strapped, you may be looking forward to your child’s graduation from high school and the end of your responsibilities — except it isn’t that simple.

Illinois law changed in 2016, with the updates making it clear that divorced parents are equally responsible for contributing to their child’s post-secondary educational expenses. Under Section 513(b), divorced parents must now assist their college-age children with:

• The cost of one college entrance exam preparation course (such as the kind used to help prepare for the SAT or ACT exams)
• The fees for up to five college applications
• The cost of two standardized college entrance exams
• College tuition and fees (up to the amount that would be paid by a student attending the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign for the same school year, regardless of what school the student attends)
• The child’s housing expenses (on-campus or off) up to the value of what they would pay for a double-occupancy dorm room and standard meal plan at the above-mentioned university

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 Posted on September 18, 2020 in Family Law

You have likely heard that gray divorce is on the rise. This means that more people around the age of 50 and above are getting divorced. These are individuals who are typically unconcerned with family dynamics, as they do not have young children, and more concerned with financial issues.

What you may be wondering, though, is why we have seen this change. Why is it that divorce is rising for this age group when it has been falling for others? Let’s consider a few of the potential reasons.

Financial independence

First of all, marriage was a means of financial success for previous generations, especially for women who felt they had no place in the workforce. With limited work options, getting married seemed like the only way to be financially stable.

That’s no longer true in the modern workforce. With both people now experiencing more financial independence, divorce has become an option. No one needs to feel like they can’t exit an unhappy marriage for financial reasons alone.

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 Posted on September 15, 2020 in Divorce

Finding out that your spouse filed for divorce is sometimes expected, but other people are blindsided by the filing. Regardless of which category you fall into, there are some points that you should be prepared for when you’re undergoing this major life change.

Many people think about the legal matters they’ll face. These include property division and child custody, but they might not realize that they’re also going to be dealing with some major emotions as they go through this.

The emotional stages of divorce include:

• Denial: You might pretend that everything is great with your life and ignore the fact that you’re divorcing.
• Anger: You’ll likely be upset at your spouse for what they did that contributed to the end of the marriage — even things that really didn’t matter.
• Bargaining: You may think about what you can do to repair the marriage, and some individuals will act on those thoughts.
• Depression: You may become very sad and start to think about the time you wasted during the marriage, and you might realize that you’re alone now.

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 Posted on September 08, 2020 in Child Custody

In Illinois, children have the right to choose which parent they want to live with once they are 14 years old. At that age, most judges and courts would agree that children are old enough to understand who they want to live with and the repercussions of their choices. However, it’s important to note that the judge can veto the child’s choice if they believe that the custody arrangement isn’t in their best interests.

As a parent, you may not be ready to let your child choose, but is it a good idea to give them the opportunity? Is it time to let them tell you what kind of custody schedule they want and what would work better for them?

This is a question without a simple answer. Children all mature at different rates, and they may not fully understand why their custody schedule is what it is today. It’s a good idea for you, your ex-spouse and your child to sit down and have a discussion if you think that your child is now old enough to make some decisions about custody themselves.

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 Posted on August 31, 2020 in Divorce

Sometimes, one spouse wants a divorce but the other spouse does not. In such cases, it is common for the spouse who wishes to stay together to deny the idea that a divorce is really happening. While understandable, this can leave you vulnerable to an unfair outcome. You cannot ignore the situation and come out ahead.

Even when all you want is to remain with your partner, it is much wiser to accept that the divorce may proceed despite your protests. This form of acceptance, even when trying to save your marriage, allows you to take protective measures ensuring that you acquire a favorable settlement.

As experienced family law attorneys, we recommend following the steps below if your spouse demands a divorce:

• Get legal representation: Illinois divorce and child custody laws are complex. Without a legal advocate, you risk losing the assets and the property you may rightly deserve. If you share children, with your spouse, legal counsel is even more important to ensure that you remain close with your kids.

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 Posted on August 26, 2020 in High Asset Divorce

Many couples own both marital assets and separate assets. These are assets that they own together and those that they own individually. It’s important to know which camp they fall into when getting divorced.

Now, these assets are not always categorized the way people assume. For instance, if you and your spouse bought a car for you to use on your commute you work, you may feel like it is your car. It’s not. It’s a joint asset that you own together.

One example of a separate asset is an inheritance. If your parents left you money directly, before or after your marriage, it likely counts as a separate asset. The goal that your parents had for that money is clear and your spouse can’t claim that they helped you earn or obtain it.

The best thing to do with an asset like this is to put it into its own account and keep it separate from everything else that you own. If you mix it, which is known as commingling the assets, you may then give your spouse a claim that the asset became marital property, not separate property.

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