Posted on February 11, 2021 in Child Custody

It's become increasingly popular for family law judges here in Illinois and across the United States to award parents joint custody. Research in recent years continues to show that it's beneficial for kids to have both parents regularly present in their kids' lives.

This research fails to point out that while joint custodial arrangements may be beneficial for kids, such arrangements can also be very stressful. Children thrive on stability and moving between two homes and two different parenting styles can be rough for them.

How can you minimize the stress of joint custody on your children?

You have to consider your child's age and unique needs when looking for a good approach.

Younger children, for example, often have strong attachments to one parent. They may suffer from separation anxiety if they have to spend too much time away from them. As a parent, you can help your child adapt to this newfound reality by shortening the amount of time between trade-offs to minimize the impact separation has on them.

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 Posted on February 11, 2021 in Divorce

When you’re going to go through a divorce, you’ll start getting lots of advice. Friends and family members may mean well, but it’s also likely that they’ll share untruths about divorce with you.

You shouldn’t fall for those myths. Here are four that come up often that you should ignore.

1. Proving adultery means you’ll get everything

The first myth that you shouldn’t believe is that adultery automatically means that the faithful spouse wins everything in the divorce. If the faithful spouse can prove that assets were used, spent or given away to the person they had an affair with, then they may be able to seek a greater portion of their marital assets. That doesn’t mean they’ll get everything, though.

2. Your spouse can deny the divorce

There is no way for any spouse to deny the other a divorce. In a contested divorce, your spouse may argue against it, but if you go through the separation period, you can continue with the divorce anyway.

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 Posted on January 31, 2021 in Divorce

For decades, you have gone to the same job and put in countless hours. You may have picked up overtime or even gone in unpaid as a favor to the boss. You have slowly but steadily watched the balance of your pension account increase and have probably always planned to spend those golden years of retirement with your spouse.

Unfortunately, divorces among those close to retirement age are increasingly common. You might realize you aren't happy or wind up blindsided when your spouse suddenly files for divorce. If you don't have a prenuptial agreement, can your spouse try to claim part of your pension in an Illinois divorce?

Pensions are often vulnerable in divorce

Like most other states, Illinois has adopted the equitable distribution standard. The income, assets and debts you and your spouse acquired during the marriage belong to both of you as marital property. The courts will try their best to find a fair way to split them up if the two of you don't agree about what is reasonable and fair.

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 Posted on January 27, 2021 in Divorce

Your spouse has always been very controlling with money, and they never let you spend it on the things you wanted. That’s not the entire reason for the divorce, but it’s something you’ve always resented.

No that you’re getting a divorce, you feel like you’re free of that control. You decide to go out and make some big purchases. You just want to have fun and enjoy life, and now you can. Are there any potential issues here?

Dissipation of assets

You want to be very careful with spending during divorce proceedings. Excessive spending can be seen as dissipation of assets. That’s a trick often used by those who want to keep marital assets from their spouse.

Sometimes this is just done out of spite. Both people are really losing assets, but the spouse who is unhappy doesn’t care. They just do it to get even.

Sometimes, though, that person can benefit. Buying physical assets doesn’t help, as those can be sold or divided, but not everything can retain its value. For instance, say you and your spouse have $100,000 to divide. If it was split in half, you’d both get $50,000. Before dividing it, though, you go on a vacation alone (or with someone else) and spend $10,000. There’s no way to get that back. You split the remaining $90,000 for $45,000 each, but your spouse still feels like you spent $5,000 of their money.

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 Posted on January 22, 2021 in Divorce

If you’re unhappy with your marriage, you might start “looking around” on dating sites. Perhaps you will look and see if there is anyone attractive in your area or just go online to see what kinds of options you might have if you wanted to date again.

If you think that you’re going to divorce, it may be a good idea to put those actions on hold. If your spouse discovers that you’ve been chatting with other people or that you are actively looking to meet with a date, then you could be at a disadvantage during your divorce.

Should you date when you are already planning to divorce?

Dating before you approach the idea of a divorce with your spouse is not something you should do. If you’re caught committing adultery, it might not have an impact on the case in court, but it could make it harder to separate. Your spouse could ask for a greater portion of your marital assets or for alimony, for example, because they believe that you were spending down assets on dates with someone else.

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 Posted on January 21, 2021 in Child Custody

There is a definite connection between alcoholism and divorce. Quite likely, there is also a corollary between parents getting divorced and increasing their alcohol uptake. That often happens when couples divorce and one or both parties spirals into a depression fueled by alcohol.

But what happens when an alcoholic parent seeks custody of their kids? Is it futile to even try?

A diagnosis of alcoholism can be quite subjective

To a teetotaler, someone who polishes off a 6-pack from Friday to Monday could be considered an alcoholic, when in reality they are just someone who enjoys a couple of beers on the weekend. But a nondrinking parent seeking full custody and child support could attempt to thumb the custody scales by exaggerating their ex’s consumption and drinking frequency.

Are there any red flags?

Any parent seeking custody who has a DWI on their record or other alcohol-related arrest or conviction should expect that to be introduced by their ex’s attorney in court. Other potential problems include pictures, videos or recordings indicating drunken behavior or its aftermath. Video of a parent passed out or vomiting after drinking can be quite compelling in court.

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 Posted on January 20, 2021 in Child Custody

For many years, divorce lawyers have told their clients to try to shelter their children from the arguments they have with their ex. There are many reasons for this. Perhaps the most important is the theory that children can suffer long-lasting emotional damage from being caught up in fights between their parents.

Recent research supports this theory. According to a study published in the journal Child Development, children develop a fear of abandonment after they are exposed to bickering between their parents in divorce. What's more, this fear created lingering problems for the children's mental health.

Interviews with kids

Researchers based their research on interviews with 560 children between the ages of 9 and 19. Researchers also talked to parents and teachers. The study found that children who reported feeling caught in the middle of their parents' arguments were more likely to fear abandonment, and that these children were more likely to report mental health problems 11 months later.

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 Posted on January 18, 2021 in Child Custody

More and more, courts award joint custody to both parents when they decide to get divorced. Sole custody situations do still occur, typically when a child’s health and well-being are at stake, but they’re not used lightly. The courts prefer shared custody and consider it to be the optimal situation.

There are skeptics who believe these situations don’t work, in large part because they can be stressful for parents. But studies have repeatedly demonstrated that this is not the case.

The benefits of joint custody are clear

For example, a PhD researcher looked at cases involving 251 children with married parents, 814 children with divorced parents who shared custody and 1,846 children with divorced parents, one of whom had sole custody. What he found was that those in families with joint custody:

• Had higher self-esteem
• Enjoyed better family relationships
• Had fewer emotional issues
• Had fewer behavioral problems
• Performed better in school

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 Posted on January 08, 2021 in Child Custody

Most people recognize that there are a few things that you should never ask others about and that their health is one such topic. Parents who find themselves negotiating over child custody may not have the luxury of keeping such information private, though.

A parent's mental health may become center stage and shape how a judge rules on custody in a case.

How your mental health can impact your child custody rights

You should know that a family law judge's primary objective is to make custody decisions that they believe are in the best interest of your child. A judge will likely be unwilling to award you custody of your child if they suspect that your mental health problems may make you unable to make your child's welfare, health or safety as a priority.

If a judge has a reason to believe that your mental health issues are severe enough that you may aggressively lash out or engage in self-harm, then they too may determine that you're unfit to raise your child. The likelihood that your mental health will affect your custody case increases if you've ever been hospitalized for mental issues or are unable to live independently.

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 Posted on January 04, 2021 in High Asset Divorce

Divorce is far more than the end of a marriage. It can impact your financial well-being for the rest of your life. Yet you’re required to make crucial financial decisions at a time when you may be consumed by myriad emotions that too often lead people to do things that aren’t in their best interests.

Your attorney will provide guidance on the legal aspects of your divorce. You may also benefit from having a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) on your team. A CDFA isn’t the same as a financial advisor. CDFAs have specialized training to deal with the long-term financial and tax impacts of divorce.

What does a CDFA do?

A CDFA may work closely with a family law attorney in support of their mutual client to help ensure that they seek the best possible settlement. They can provide guidance on things like:

• Division of assets like stock options and pension plans
• Tax consequences of potential settlements
• Life insurance and health insurance coverage

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