Posted on June 29, 2021 in Fathers' Rights

Not all relationships work out, but sometimes those relationships result in a child. Just because you are not in the other parent's life does not mean you cannot be involved in your child's.

Studies show children tend to be better adjusted when they have both parents in their lives. It's imperative that you know about your parental and custodial rights as a dad.

What your rights are as a father

If you are a biological parent of a child, then you have a legal right to custody or visitation. It is not required that the parents were married when the child was conceived in order to petition for custody.

Courts make decisions that they believe are in the best interest of the child, which generally involves both parents being in the picture. The only exception to this rule is if evidence comes to light showing otherwise, such as domestic violence or other potentially dangerous crimes.

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 Posted on June 17, 2021 in Divorce

One of the hardest things for a divorcing parent is knowing that your child will suffer. It can be easy to feel guilty about this and think that you need to make it up to them.

Divorce is a reality of life for many adults and many children. Your child will not be the first or the last to suffer because of it. While you should take steps to minimize the harm your divorce does to your child, you should not try to make it up to them by overindulging them.

Children might not appreciate your efforts to indulge them

A recent investigation asked adults to think back to episodes of overindulgence they had as children and asked how they had felt about it. It defined overindulgence as giving a child too much, whether that be attention or things, doing too much for them and allowing them to have life too easy. Here are the top five answers:

• 48% felt loved
• 44% felt confused
• 40% felt embarrassed
• 31% felt guilty, bad or sad
• 29% felt ashamed after initially feeling good

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 Posted on June 14, 2021 in Divorce

People who run a business sometimes find it hard to run a business while maintaining a happy married life. Balancing work and home life is tough, but failing to do so could lead to divorce.

Ideally, a spouse is treated like your best friend and top customer. They get priority over other things when they need support or help. However, finding time can be hard.

Some tips to help balance marriage and running a business include:

• Answering your spouse whenever they call or returning their calls as soon as possible.
• Remembering that the way you speak with your spouse will be reflected in how they treat you
• Investing in quality time together intentionally by setting that time aside

There are many situations in which these tips can help keep a marriage happy and balanced, but if you or your spouse find that the marriage is not going as you planned, then divorce could be an option.

What can you do if you want to end your marriage?

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 Posted on June 12, 2021 in Divorce

Unfortunately, one spouse telling lies about the other is a common occurrence in Wheaton, Illinois divorces. Examples include:

• He cheated on me through the whole marriage.
• She cannot stop drinking or taking drugs.
• He hits the children when I am out of the home.
• She yells at the kids and tells them they are useless.
• He forces me to have sex when I do not want to.
• She sells items from my sports memorabilia collection and pockets the cash.

Although these behaviors often fail to work out for the lying spouse, untruths can make an already trying time even worse.

Why would a spouse tell such terrible lies?

In most cases, your spouse wants to hurt you and your side of the divorce. Maybe your spouse does not want a divorce, and this is the only thing he can think of to delay the process. Regardless of the reason, we believe lying harms you in many ways:

• It can turn your family members against you.
• It can make a family court scrutinize your every move and the words you speak.

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 Posted on June 04, 2021 in Divorce

You think of divorce as something that will or will not happen based solely on decisions made by you and your spouse. No one else affects your odds of divorce.

But is that true? Or could outside factors play a role? For instance, say your own parents got divorced when you were a child, and/or your spouse’s parents got divorced. Does this increase the odds of divorce in your own life, even though your parents have nothing to do with the specifics of your relationship?

The odds are increased by 38%

It is true that adults with divorced parents face greater divorce odds. Researchers have even studied this phenomenon to the point that they claim that when one spouse has divorced parents, the odds of divorce go up by 38%.

Lest this be seen as an effect of having a single-parent upbringing, they also looked at cases where one parent passed away, thus ending the marriage. In these cases, divorce odds did not increase for the children in that family. This means that it is specifically having divorced parents that makes your own divorce more likely.

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 Posted on May 28, 2021 in Child Custody

One of the most difficult things about sharing custody with your ex is their constant involvement in your life. If you want to plan a weekend getaway, you have to communicate with them to let them know the kids won't be available to take phone calls that weekend.

If you want to completely change your schedule for the next two weeks, you may have to negotiate a temporary shift to your parenting plan or custody order.

Family law judges typically want to protect the relationships of each parent. Does that mean that your ex gets to decide whether you can move to Wisconsin to take a new job or move in with your parents?

If your ex approved it, that could help you

Any relocation outside of the state or more than a reasonable drive from your ex's house could affect your parenting plan. A major relocation is a significant change in circumstances that could justify a custody modification.

If your ex agrees that moving is good for you and will benefit the kids, the two of you can file for an uncontested modification that allows you to relocate with the kids. If they don't agree with you, then you will likely have to go to court.

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 Posted on May 21, 2021 in Child Custody

Relationships take a lot of hard work to keep them intact, and caring for a newborn is also time-consuming. The combination of these two factors can lead a couple to split up when their child is a mere infant.

If you’re in this position, there are two factors that you'll need to account for when deciding how to share custody of your baby with your ex.

Is your infant breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding is beneficial for both moms and babies. Mastering appropriate latching, managing supply issues and getting a feeding schedule down pat takes most new mothers some time.

Most pediatricians recommend against weaning a baby off the breast and transferring to the use of bottles too quickly. These concerns may make arranging a schedule whereby you and your ex trade-off your infant every so many days isn't likely to work during your baby's earliest months of life.

Is your baby on a good sleep schedule?

Another detail that you're likely learning now that you're a new parent is that your child doesn't reliably sleep at night when you want to, nor do they remain asleep for very long once you do put them to bed. Babies may only sleep for small spurts of time initially as you manage to get their feeding schedule on track.

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 Posted on May 13, 2021 in Divorce

Nelson Mandela said, “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”

It is good advice if you are about to divorce. Even if you do not have children, you still need to work together with your spouse. Doing so is the quickest way to solve the problem you both share: Deciding how to end your marriage.

Divorce does not need to be a major battle

If you look at the conflicts in the world, many of them have gone on for years. The two sides are no closer to resolution than when they started. Meanwhile, both continue to do considerable harm to each other. The longer they fail to reach an agreement, the more it costs in financial and human terms.

If you litigate your divorce, each refusing to budge from your demands, you will spend more money and time and cause more harm. When the judge makes their decision, there is a high chance that at least one of you leaves disgruntled. It could make a future conflict more likely.

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 Posted on May 06, 2021 in Child Custody

If you're divorcing while you still have an older teenager at home, you might wonder if a custody plan is really necessary. They’re pretty independent as they are now, especially since they obtained a driver's license, so why hold them back with a schedule when they have the ability to decide where to go or live?

Legally speaking, you’re still your child’s guardian until they turn 18, so it’s necessary to come up with a custody plan. That plan can be something as simple as setting up specific days when they’ll stay the night at their mother or father’s house.

Should you let your teen pick their own custody schedule?

If your child is driving and over 16 years of age, they may have a good idea of what they want to do in terms of custody. While you don’t have to do exactly what they want, it’s worth listening to what they have in mind since they’re more independent than a younger child would be.

They might opt to live with one parent permanently and just visit the other parent, for example, to avoid going back and forth between homes. Alternatively, they may be happy to go with whatever plan you and their other parent decide. Since every child is different, you will need to sit down and talk to yours about what they want and what you think you should do.

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 Posted on April 29, 2021 in Child Custody

One of the most important things you can do after a divorce is to work well with your ex as you co-parent your children. This gives the children the stability and care they deserve.

Naturally, this can also be very hard to do. Divorced couples typically are not on the best of terms. If you really want to put your kids first, here are a few tips to help you do that.

Promote solid communication

You and your ex cannot avoid or ignore each other and expect to parent successfully. You need to communicate about such matters as how the kids are doing in school, scheduling changes and any personal issues that your children may have. You should communicate effectively, no matter whether it's via phone, text or email.

Remember that you can both be excellent parents

People sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that someone wasn’t a good spouse, so they’re not a good parent. This isn’t true. Both you and your ex can be great parents even though your marriage didn't work out.

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