Posted on July 17, 2020 in Divorce

Don’t assume that divorce is just for middle-aged parents with young children. The cliche is, of course, a mother and father in their 30s or 40s who perhaps fell in love in college and now have drifted apart. They want something new in life. Couples who make it through this stage, it’s often assumed, will stay married for life.

The truth, though, is that gray divorce has only been rising. Those over 50 are ending their marriages at a fast clip. Baby boomers are now those deciding it’s time for something new.

These are individuals who fall well out of that cliche. They may have children, but the children are grown up and have moved out of the house. Many of them are closer to retirement than they are to middle age.

All of this can bring up some unique challenges. For instance, a couple who has saved jointly for retirement all these years now has to decide how to split up those savings and what it is going to mean for their ability to retire at all. Plus, couples at this age tend to own more assets, such as family homes, multiple cars and even businesses.

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 Posted on July 03, 2020 in Divorce

You do not have to tell anyone about your divorce, other than your spouse. However, if you’re a parent, you may want to start thinking realistically about who it would be wise to tell. Does a child’s teacher fall into that category?

They do. First and foremost, some children struggle in school while the divorce is going on or immediately after it happens. They tend to regain their footing and adjust over time, but it doesn’t happen right away. If the teacher knows what’s going on at home, they may be able to help the child avoid any performance issues.

Remember, you always want to put your child’s needs first. Their education is important. If one simple conversation with a teacher can help them do better, it’s worth having.

One thing to keep in mind is that this should be a facts-only conversation. You do not need to get into any details or any drama. You don’t need to explain why the divorce is your spouse’s fault or tell the teacher why the marriage fell apart.

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 Posted on June 29, 2020 in Divorce

Divorce can be a challenging topic to address, even when it's just between you and your spouse. It can be even more difficult when you have to discuss it with your kids. That first talk with them usually involves telling them about the impending divorce, which can shatter what they may have perceived as a great home life. This threat to their stability can be frightening for children, which is why you need to handle these discussions delicately.

To do so, you might want to consider a number of things such as the following:

• Honesty is key: Your child deserves to know the truth. If you try to mislead your children, you might end up filling them with false hope and a false sense of reality.
• Reassure them: Your children are going to exhibit a wide array of emotions. This is normal. Let them know that they are free to express how they feel and can talk to you about the divorce at anytime. You can acknowledge that a lot of things are going to change, but try to focus on the things that won't change. Also, don't forget to tell your children that you love them no matter what.

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 Posted on June 18, 2020 in Divorce

The family home is one of the most valuable assets a person owns, both financially and emotionally. Homeowners in Illinois may have built up a significant amount of equity in their home, and it is the place where family memories are made. However, when a couple’s marriage goes south and they want to divorce, one of the biggest decisions they will have to make during the property division process is what to do with the family home.

One option is for one spouse to keep the home and buy out the other spouse’s share in it. This may be an especially attractive option if one spouse has custody of the children and wishes to keep raising them in the family home that they are familiar with. If one spouse wants to keep the family home, it is important that not only can they afford to buy out their ex’s share in it and refinance, but also that they can afford the many costs of homeownership. This means paying the mortgage, homeowner’s insurance, property taxes and upkeep on the home.

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 Posted on June 12, 2020 in Divorce

Some people talk about love at first sight. They claim that they knew on the first date that they wanted to marry the other person. They may have only waited a few months before tying the knot.

To others, dating for two or three months and then getting married sounds absurd. They advocate dating for an extensive period of time. They may have been with their partner for a decade. They may choose to live together to “test out” being married without the legal ramifications. They want to take it slow and be careful.

So, who is right? How long should you date before getting married?

When looking at the odds of divorce, researchers pinned down the right amount of time that couples should spend dating if they wanted to reduce the chances of splitting up after marriage. They pointed out that waiting for a minimum of three years cut down the divorce rate by about 50% when compared to couples who only dated for a year. Even just dating for anywhere between one and two years reduced divorce odds by 20%.

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 Posted on June 02, 2020 in Family Law

Within some child custody situation, there may be a disabled child who will need an appointed legal guardian after they become of legal age. He or she may not be able to navigate daily living on their own, and will need someone who can be responsible for helping facilitate certain measures. If this is not addressed within the original custody order itself, an application for guardianship will need to be filed once the child becomes an adult.

The state of Illinois has what is known as The Office of the State Guardian, operating under the Guardianship and Advocacy Commission. The state also carries one of the most unique and progressive guardianship laws in the country, meaning that there is substantial assistance available in a guardianship situation.

There are two types of guardianships, “guardian of person” and “guardian of estate.” Guardian of a person will address issues such as medical treatment decisions, place of residence for the disabled person, social services, and any other matters that arise in which the person would be unable to manage. However, it does not give the guardian the right to manage finances of the ward. If a person needs help making financial decision or managing finances, then a guardian of the estate will be appointed as well.

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 Posted on May 29, 2020 in Child Custody

Your ex needs to pick the kids up on Friday night — instead of Saturday morning when the custody agreement says that their parenting time starts. They’re planning a big weekend trip with the kids, and they tell you that they need to get an early start. Do you allow it?

If you refuse, you might be called “unreasonable.” Too many refusals over minor requests can make you look hostile and unwilling to work with your ex in your children’s best interests. This can be very problematic in court if your ex decides to challenge the current custody plan.

However, you don’t want your ex to simply expect that you’ll bend over backwards to accommodate their every whim — particularly if your ex is the “if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile” sort. You also don’t want the disruption to your life and routine that comes with every request (including the extra phone calls or messages from your ex).

One method you can use to manage these kinds of issues is to have a clause in your custody agreement that limits how many times your ex can make these kinds of requests for unscheduled changes. For example, you may freely allow an hour or two of leeway around each custody exchange — but limit the number of times bigger changes to the routine can be requested to just three times a year.

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 Posted on May 19, 2020 in Divorce

You’re getting married, and you decide to use a prenup to protect your assets and/or protect yourself from your spouse’s debt. If you get divorced, you know how things are going to play out financially.

During this process, you bring up children. You know that you want to have a family in the future. You do not want to live with the fear that a divorce could mean your children go live with your ex, and you never see them. You ask if you can put any details about future child custody rights into the prenup, and you find out that you cannot. Why is this?

While the court does consider the specifics of every individual case, they have one main goal that they always focus on: determining what is in a child’s best interests. This is even more important than giving the parents what they want. If the court decides that some other solution would be better for the children, then it works toward that end.

Those future children are people, after all, and they have rights. If a prenup could make it so that they wouldn’t get the best living situation or would get cut off from a parent against their will, that would violate their rights. The parents can only use the prenup to make decisions for and about themselves, not for or about other people. For this reason, children are exempt and nothing regarding custody will hold up in divorce court.

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 Posted on May 15, 2020 in Divorce

An uncontested divorce can provide a variety of different benefits, including saving the couple time, money and acrimony. As a result, it is helpful for divorcing couples to understand what makes a divorce uncontested.

What is an uncontested divorce?

An uncontested divorce is essentially a divorce that is not disputed by either of the spouses. When a couple has made the difficult decision to divorce, the process usually begins with one of the spouses filing for divorce. Following that filing, the other spouse has a certain period of time to respond to the divorce filing with their answer. If the divorcing couple agrees on divorce-related issues such as property division, spousal support, child support, child custody, or do not share children from the marriage, they may be able to enjoy an uncontested divorce process.

Benefits of an uncontested divorce

An uncontested divorce is a more streamlined process as opposed to a divorce that is contested. During a contested divorce, each disputed issue must be litigated in divorce court. This can make the divorce process more time-consuming, costly and acrimonious. When the divorcing couple does not have financial disputes, and both spouses agree to the divorce, an uncontested divorce may be the best option for them.

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 Posted on May 14, 2020 in Divorce

It is difficult to say exactly what the hardest part of the divorce process is, but the reality is that all divorcing couples in Illinois and elsewhere are dealing with changes because of the process. Not only are they moving forward with being single, but they are also leaving the marriage with roughly half of what they enjoyed during the marriage. Property division can evolve into a high conflict topic, especially when each spouse states a claim for specific property. Thus, it is important to not only understand the property division law specific to the state of Illinois but also what steps are necessary to prove that specific property is in fact personal and separate property.

The state of Illinois is an equitable distribution state. This means that property will be divided between spouses in a fair manner, which often means that it will not be an equal split. In couples where there is a higher earning spouse and a lower earning spouse, it is likely that the higher earner will get a greater percentage than the lower earner.

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