Divorce should ideally mark a clear split. However, most divorce cases are never clear breaks. If you share a child with your ex, you will certainly interact with them from time to time. The same is true when there is an active spousal support order.

Spousal support, or alimony as it is commonly known, is intended to help the receiving party cope with the financial downturn that is occasioned by the divorce. Ideally, spousal support is meant to give the receiving party financial footing through skill acquisition and job training and/or experience. However, like child support, spousal support can be modified based on the following circumstances:

When there is a change in either party’s income

If you lose your job or income source and, thus, a significant change in your income, you may petition the court to modify the existing spousal support. Likewise, if the receiving party experiences a significant pay rise, they may not need the same amount of help to maintain their pre-divorce living standard. For this reason, you may petition the court for a review of the current order. However, you may not intentionally quit your job to avoid paying spousal support.

Whether you approach the situation with a, “Hey honey, I think we should divorce, or “I’m through with you. This marriage is over,” telling your spouse that you want to divorce won’t be easy.

The following tips might help if you are wondering where to begin:

Choose your moment carefully

Be considerate when picking a moment. Straight after your spouse has returned from someone’s funeral or the day before they have a big exam is not the right time. Nor are events such as your child’s birthday. Once you have this conversation, your spouse will struggle to think about much else for at least a few days, so pick a time when they have a clear schedule ahead.

When a marriage or relationship ends in divorce, sometimes the thought of two homes and empty arguments over who gets which days with the kids can seem overwhelming. Fortunately, there is an alternative: birdnesting.

In this arrangement, children stay put in the family home while one parent rotates out to accommodate the time between both parents. Instead of upheaval and resentment, this situation can create a respite for all parties involved.

Benefits and drawbacks of birdnesting

The idea behind birdnesting is to provide stability for the children by allowing them to remain in the family home and maintain their routine. This way, the children don't have to adjust to a new environment or be uprooted from their familiar surroundings. It also allows them to spend time with both parents in one place without switching between households.

Divorce happens for many different reasons, and every couple’s case is unique. It could be something simple, like discovering that your spouse was having an affair. But it could also be something more complex, like getting married too young and then drifting apart over time as your brain continues to develop and you change as a person.

One thing that people often note as a reason for divorce is job loss. In fact, studies have found a correlation. Those who lose their job see an increase in the odds that they will also end up getting divorced. This doesn’t guarantee it, of course, but simply means that it is more likely for someone who suddenly becomes unemployed.

Why does this happen?

The big reason that this happens is simply that a marriage is likely to be more stable when there is financial security. If the couple can make ends meet and pay other bills easily, it removes a lot of potential stress from the relationship. When someone loses their job, it calls this stability into question and it creates a lot of financial stress. That can take a toll on the relationship.

When all reconciliation attempts fail, a couple might have no choice but to divorce. This is a tough undertaking – both financially and emotionally.

Divorce comes with several elephants in the room. One of these involves untangling the couple’s finances. Long before the subjects of child and spousal support come up, you will need to prepare your finances for life after the divorce.

While each divorce is unique, the following tips can help you prep your finances for your impending divorce: