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How can you prepare financially for your Illinois divorce?
Divorce can solve many of your personal and emotional problems, but it can also cause or increase economic hardships. The prospect of suffering financial trouble is one of the most common reasons many in Wheaton, Illinois, delay getting divorced.
We understand. If you must choose between financial stability and happiness, money issues nearly always come first. After all, even just getting by in the modern world is challenging on one income.
Can preparation improve your economic situation?
In most cases, preparing for the financial elements of divorce can help. If you can begin your preparations before filing for a divorce, your efforts will be even more effective. The eight tips below may prove useful.
- Close joint credit card accounts to prevent your spouse from incurring more debt.
- Open new savings and checking accounts to keep your funds separate.
- Change the beneficiaries in your estate planning documents, insurance policies and retirement accounts.
What happens if you discover your ex has hidden assets?
Splitting up your property is often one of the biggest practical considerations in an Illinois divorce. Equitable distribution rules govern what happens if you go to court, and many spouses use the equitable distribution rule as a starting point when negotiating a settlement outside of court. The goal is a fair division of property.
Whether you litigate or settle outside of court, the discovery process is crucial to property division. Discovery involves divorcing spouses providing information to one another about their debts and assets.
What if your spouse intentionally hid property from you, your attorney and the courts?
If you catch it before you finalize the divorce
In a best-case scenario, you would discover a hidden bank account or other hidden assets before the court actually finalized the divorce. You could then present evidence of your spouse's financial conduct to the judge overseeing your case and ask them to integrate that information into their ruling. Although spousal misconduct rarely affects property division, the courts may split property less evenly to penalize a spouse who has intentionally hidden assets.
Healing from a divorce starts at separation
People who are going through a divorce are often shocked at how many emotions they feel during the process. Many people think that they’ll feel happy and overjoyed when they get a divorce. Yet, that might not be the case, even if you wanted to end your marriage.
There are many things that you’ll likely experience during the first year after the divorce. It might surprise you when you start to feel sadness or anger about things related to the split.
Why would someone feel negative emotions during a divorce?
You might not care that the marriage is ending, but you’ll probably miss things like having someone to talk to when you come home at the end of a rough day. The loss of some friends and traditions may also cause sadness. Or you may feel angry that you let your ex get away with horrible behavior for so long before you took action.
One thing that you should remember is that you need to address these emotions as they come up, so they don’t overwhelm you. This isn’t always easy. Sometimes, you may need to get creative about what you do. For example, if you’re upset that you won’t go to your former in-law’s home for the annual Halloween party, you need to think of something else to do that night.
Social media mistakes that can ruin your child custody case
These days, pretty much everyone has a social media profile. After a long day at work, it is not unusual to find yourself scrolling through your Facebook timeline or catching up with your friends’ photos on Instagram. It is also not unusual to create a post or two, or even share your most recent photos with your social media “friends and followers.”
But, when you are in the midst of a protracted child custody battle, it is important that you are extra careful with what you post online. Always keep in mind that what you post online during your child custody case can, and will, be used against you.
Here are two social media mistakes that can ruin your child custody case.
Making disparaging remarks about your spouse
There is no question that divorce can be an emotionally taxing endeavor. It is possible to get frustrated and disappointed by your failed marriage, especially if the other party contributed greatly to the collapse of your marriage.
However, no matter how hurt you are, the last thing you want to do is talk ill about your soon-to-be-ex on social media. This amounts to badmouthing, and it can cost you your custody case. And that is not all, you might be found in contempt of court if there is an order prohibiting either party from such behavior during the divorce process.
When should you request a modification of custody orders?
Orders issued by the court around parental allocation time and responsibility are not permanent. Recent developments may warrant a change or revision of the current custodial arrangement to suit the current times. However, such changes or modifications must be based on the child’s best interests.
Just because you disagree with how your co-parent is raising your child does not mean that you should go ahead and request a modification of the custodial orders. Is the child’s welfare at risk? Is your co-parent denying you visitation rights, or are they alienating your child from you? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, |the court can modify the current custody orders.
You need to prove your claims
If you think the current custodial orders need to be revised to accommodate the child’s best interests, then it is up to you to provide supporting evidence to back your claims. Most likely, your co-parent will counter your claims which is why you need to come prepared.
Should you cancel your credit cards during a divorce?
Credit cards are very convenient, especially during turbulent financial times, such as divorce. However, you may find yourself wondering if you should cancel those cards as your marriage ends.
You don't have to do this, but there are a few good reasons to cancel those accounts. You need to protect your own financial assets and set yourself up for the future. If you have a joint credit card account with your spouse, and your marriage is ending, it may be time to put an end to that account as well.
You could be liable for their spending
First and foremost, you can be liable for your spouse's spending on that credit card if you are joint account holders. Essentially, you have both agreed to pay off whatever is on that card, no matter who charges it. This makes sense during a marriage, but it does not make sense during or after a divorce. You need to remove that legal obligation so that you don't find yourself on the hook for charges you never expected.
Gray divorce factors to consider before you file
If your marriage is not what you expected, you shouldn’t have to remain in it. Even if you’re over the age of 50, you still have options for moving forward with the life you choose.
Divorcing at an older age, usually 50 and older, is known as gray divorce. This kind of divorce is seeing an unprecedented increase all around the world.
Why are gray divorces increasing in number?
Part of the reason may be that women are now starting to work and take on roles in the same capacity as men. Sometimes, a couple won’t have children or may have children who have left the nest, so this is a time when it’s easier for them to divorce. There is also the impact of the fact that over half of all people in their middle age now will live over the age of 85. Many people can’t stand the idea of staying with their spouse for another 10, 20, or 30 years, if not longer.
There are unique challenges to overcome
If you will be getting a divorce when you’re 50 or older, you do have to face unique challenges that you may not have at a younger age. You should take a look at your income sources and budget, retirement plans and health insurance coverage, for example.
Divorce doesn’t have to be viewed as a failure
Getting married is often the most exciting time in a person’s life. Both partners look forward to their lives together and enthusiastically anticipate the future. Unfortunately, married life doesn’t always match initial expectations. While it is normal for most couples to experience bumps along the road, extended issues and conflicts can lead to the marriage breaking down.
Frequently, divorce is looked at in a negative aspect and as some sort of failure. However, rarely are circumstances so straightforward. Remaining in an unhealthy marriage could be to the detriment of you, your spouse and your family members. It is important to take a balanced approach when considering divorce, and that means paying attention to potential positives. For example:
Your children may benefit
It can be a daunting prospect to move forward as a single parent, but there is ample evidence to show that remaining in a toxic relationship can actually do more harm than good.
Being happier with yourself can give you the confidence and fulfillment necessary to be as good a parent as possible. Furthermore, your former spouse may experience the same effects. With this type of dynamic between parents, it is possible to make a success of co-parenting and ensure that the needs of your children are always met.
Divorce coping mechanisms for your children
Divorce typically takes its toll on the emotional well-being of both spouses. It can be even more difficult if you are parents, as you have your kids to worry about too.
Children may not find the divorce process or post-divorce transition easy to deal with. As a parent, there are some coping strategies that you can implement to facilitate a child’s transition into life after divorce.
Don’t shut out their feelings
As with adults, children must be allowed to express what they truly feel. Even if you don’t want to hear it, it is important to allow children to express sadness and disappointment. Dismissing their emotions could give the impression that they are wrong to feel this way, which can lead to them avoiding discussions over negative feelings altogether.
Try to remain amicable in front of them
It has long been established that two parents fighting in front of their child can be detrimental to the kid’s emotional health. You are not obliged to stay close with your former spouse after divorce, but they are going to remain a part of your life as a co-parent to your child. Consequently, occasional meetings, at the very least, are unavoidable. There is no need to bring negativity into these meetings, given that they are likely to only last a matter of seconds or minutes. If both parents show that they are able to remain civil, the child knows that they are the priority.
Watch what you post about your divorce on social media
When many of us have something to say or share, we take to social media in a flash. It’s the “in” place to air opinions, share photos, post news and just about everything else these days.
That lack of inhibition on social media platforms may be okay for you, especially if your personality is kind of freewheeling. However, it can have consequences if you are in the midst of a divorce and you decide to volcanically vent your frustration by bad-mouthing your future ex-spouse. You may feel relieved after spewing all kinds of nastiness about your former mate for all to read, but doing so can have a downside, too.
Why not post a torrent of negative things about your ex on social media?
One life coach exhorts her clients to practice “divorce without damage.” When your emotions are running high as tidal waves, it’s pretty tough to exercise restraint and sound judgment. All you really long to do is flush those raging feelings right out of your system.
Stop and mull it over beforehand. Do you want to appear petty, vengeful and vindictive by trashing your erstwhile life partner in public? How about your kids and family seeing or hearing about what you write? You could be sorry later for putting all that in front of people, particularly those you care deeply about.
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