Is it even possible for you and your spouse to create a great family atmosphere for your children after your divorce?
Absolutely! If you think about it, some of the reasons that you ended up divorced included not being happy with your ex -- and that definitely affected the atmosphere of your home. More than likely, you and your spouse also argued in front of the kids more than you wanted -- which also didn't help create a happy home.
Now that you and your spouse are no longer married, the good news is that you can actually hit "reset" in a way and make family life better for the kids. Here's how:
1. Find someone to vent to about your spouse.
You need someone to express your frustrations to about your spouse. A therapist or your best friend will help you keep your negative feelings in check when you're around your ex and kids.
2. Work on a set of rules for parenting with your ex.
This is critical when it comes to creating a happy environment for your kids. Learn to separate your issues with your spouse and keep them distinct from the parenting issues. Strive for:
- Some agreements on boundaries for the kids (bedtimes, allowable activities, friends, expectations for school, social activities)
- Aim for some family time that involves both parents. Even if only once a month, the united front that you show the kids can help them feel more secure.
3. Don't be afraid to changed your custody agreement.
The custody agreement you made two, three or even five years ago may no longer be the most productive. If your child custody agreement doesn't make sense, it may be time to talk to an attorney about revising it.