Posted on January 03, 2014 in High Asset Divorce

Often, people assume that a divorce is always doomed to devolve into a shouting match. Those who have never been through the process tend to believe that the legal actions are always taken in an open court, where skeletons are dragged out of the closet and dire accusations are leveled.

The truth is quite different. Many divorces are done out-of-court, using a settlement that is privately determined between the two parties and their attorneys.

It is a fact, however, that the divorce can bring on a great deal of negative feelings and acrimony between spouses. This acrimony can lead to disagreements that can hamper the negotiations process, making it more difficult to reach an agreement in a timely manner.

This is especially true in cases of high asset divorce, where a large number of valuable assets must be divided. The divorce settlement in these cases can be extremely complex; failure to cooperate can slow the negotiations to a crawl.

Cooperation can be hard to come by during a divorce, however. One expert recently released a number of guidelines for helping spouses deal with their negative feelings.

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 Posted on December 27, 2013 in Child Support

When a noncustodial father writes a check for child support each month, most people would assume that all the money goes straight to the custodial parent - or, more specifically, to the basic needs of the child. That is, after all, what child support is for, to provide for the needs of the children.

However, the truth is that under certain circumstances, only a portion of that child support reaches its intended destination. Here in Illinois, if the child is benefitting from government welfare programs, then a large percentage of the child support payment will be intercepted by the government.

Many families with separated parents make use of government welfare programs. When they do, the government expects to be repaid for the service as much as possible. So, when the noncustodial parent makes a child support payment, the state of Illinois takes all but $50 out of the check.

This means noncustodial parents, many of whom must work very hard to make their child support payments, only see a fraction of their efforts going directly to support their children.

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 Posted on December 20, 2013 in High Asset Divorce

It's a commonly-held belief that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. According to a recent article in the New York Times, however, that's no longer the case. After years of harboring a 50 percent divorce rate, the number has begun to decline in America, dropping to just above 40 percent. The trend was observed in all age groups, except for one - baby boomers.

This is a surprising statistic. Many baby boomers in Illinois and other states have been married for years – decades, even. But over the past 20 years, the divorce rate among baby boomers has increased by a whopping 50 percent.

The reasons for this are complex and various. A sociology professor at the University of Washington recently advanced her opinions on the subject, suggesting a number of reasons why baby boomers may be ending their marriages.

One key factor, according to the sociologist, is the time in which the baby boomers were born. Boomers' parents were part of a more traditional age. The boomers themselves, however, lived through a period of transition. They were part of the civil rights movement, the gay rights movement and anti-war movements. Women's rights were also addressed during their time, an issue that led many to question the traditional role of marriage in our society.

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 Posted on December 11, 2013 in Child Custody

As many in Illinois are aware, determining child custody can be a long and difficult process. There are a number of extremely important decisions that need to be made, decisions that will have life changing consequences for all parties involved.

When the child custody agreement must be made across state lines, however, the issues can become even more complex. Problems with jurisdiction and visitation can arise, as well as the logistical issues that come from traveling between court appearances.

These are the problems faced by Olympic skier Bode Miller, who is currently embroiled in a child custody dispute that recently reached its eleventh month. Unusually, the cross-state dispute began even before the child was born.

When Miller's girlfriend, Sara McKenna, was seven months pregnant, she moved from southern California, where Miller lived, to New York, where she aspired to attend graduate school. A co-parenting agreement had not yet been decided when she left the state.

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 Posted on December 06, 2013 in High Asset Divorce

Contrary to popular belief, divorce is not solely the domain of young couples. While many spouses do get divorced in the first few years of marriage, making it five or ten years does not necessarily mean the union will last forever. In some cases, couples who have been together for decades - couples that outwardly seem to be happily married - may realize that their marriage should not continue.

The reasons for this are varied, but the trend seems to be on the rise, both here in the U.S. and abroad in Europe.

One reasons that older couples may get a divorce could be attributed to the so-called "empty nest syndrome." When a couple's children leave the house, often they have to go through a period of enormous change, as the focus of their lives shift away from child-rearing. Often, spouses have difficulty adjusting to the new social dynamics of living without children. In other cases, spouses may realize that they have different opinions on their goals and dreams, now that the children are out of the house.

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 Posted on November 29, 2013 in High Asset Divorce

For many years, prenuptial agreements have been viewed as a tool only for the wealthy. In recent years, that perception has been shifting; many couples who are marrying later in life, or marrying for the second time, use the document as a way to protect their personal assets before entering into marriage. Though still far from common, prenuptial agreements are used by couples with average wealth as well as the rich and famous.

It's the rich and famous, however, who get the media attention, and it's perhaps this fact that leads viewers to conclude that prenuptial agreements are only for the wealthy.

Recently, one of the wealthiest people in the world, Rupert Murdoch, put a prenuptial agreement into use in preparation for his third divorce. He and his wife Wendi Deng recently separated after a marriage lasting 14 years. They have two children together, girls aged 10 and 11.

Murdoch and Deng, with the assistance of family law attorneys, prepared their divorce in private, meaning the terms of the separation or not open for public viewing. According to the New York Daily News, however, a prenuptial agreement signed before the wedding ensures that Rupert Murdoch not cede any control of his vast media empire to his ex-wife. Though she will likely be given a portion of the Murdoch fortune, neither she nor her children will have voting rights in any of Murdoch's businesses.

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 Posted on November 22, 2013 in Child Custody

As many parents know, co-parenting can be a difficult process. It's no easy splitting time with a child; it's much harder, however when one has a strained relationship with the other parent.

Unfortunately, divorce has a reputation for strained relationships. Often, couples enter the divorce process feeling angry and resentful towards the other spouse. By the time the divorce process is completed, spouses sometimes feel emotionally raw and unwilling to communicate with the former spouse any longer.

For co-parents, however, this is not an option. The parental relationship persists forever, even after the spousal relationship has ended. Even in these difficult, acrimonious relationships, parents have a responsibility to work together to raise their child.

These difficult relationships led to the rise of child custody exchanges in Illinois. Child custody exchanges are buildings managed by the government that act as safe, neutral places that co-parents can use to exchange custody of their children without ever seeing one another. Exchanging custody is a key part of honoring the divorce agreement's visitation schedule.

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 Posted on November 15, 2013 in Child Support

When a couple makes the decision to divorce, they often assume that they will be able to go their separate ways, and, if they so choose, never see one another again. This is not the case, however, if the spouses have children.

The marriage may come to an end, but parenting lasts forever. It can be difficult, however, for ex-spouses to maintain a successful parenting relationship after the divorce, especially if the separation was acrimonious. Child support, in particular, is a common stumbling block.

Oftentimes, noncustodial parents resent paying child support, especially if they feel they are not involved in the child's life. In other cases, noncustodial parents may resist making payments because they fear the custodial parent is spending the money on personal items, rather than on the child.

A new computer program seeks to smooth over these sticking points by simplifying and clarifying child support accounting. The program, called SupportPay, keeps track of the amounts that noncustodial parents must pay each month and tracks any back payments. If a noncustodial parent misses a payment, he or she receives a polite reminder from the program.

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 Posted on November 08, 2013 in High Asset Divorce

When a couple runs into marital troubles, they often turn to couples' therapy for answers. Often, the therapist works with both spouses to try to find the best way for the couple to move forward with their lives. Rarely, however, does the therapist bring up the possibility of divorce.

This is according to a couple's therapist who recently published an open letter to her colleagues on The Huffington Post. She says that although she considers divorce an acceptable conclusion to couples' therapy, many other therapists do not follow this line of reasoning.

For many couples, divorce is viewed as "failure," and, therefore, it is avoided at all costs. Unfortunately, many therapists enter therapy with the same idea, and thus go to great lengths to avoid the topic. In these cases, divorce becomes the enemy.

According to the author of the open letter, however, couples and therapists shouldn't view divorce in this light. Rather, divorce is one of many options, one that is acceptable and correct under certain circumstances.

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 Posted on November 01, 2013 in Child Support

When a pair of parents get a divorce, they may be able to end the romantic relationship, but their parental responsibilities will continue for the rest of their lives. These responsibilities include visitation, child custody and child support.

Child support, in particular, is often a sticking point between divorced parents. The noncustodial parent may feel as though he or she doesn't have a large enough role in the child's life and, resentfully, refuses to send child support payments.

Parents considering this practice should consider the fact that the child support check is not for the benefit of the custodial parent - it's for the benefit of their child. Furthermore, the child support payments are not a gift that can be rescinded or discontinued. Child support is the child's right, and noncustodial parents are legally bound to make regular payments.

This doesn't always happen, however. Many Illinois parents are having significant trouble obtaining child support payments from noncustodial parents. Though parents have the right to take the other parent to court when this occurs, experts say this doesn't always solve the problem.

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