Being in an abusive relationship is frightening, painful and confusing. It is so hard to understand why someone that you love would hurt you. And your instincts may be to try to help your partner work through his or her problem and be the person you need by your side. You may have even implored your partner to take steps to confront and correct the issue.
But unfortunately, appealing to an abuser to change his or her ways is all too often a futile endeavor. According to a representative of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, abused partners often try to "save" their abusers by trying such tactics as:
- Issuing an ultimatum to the abusive partner.
- Attempting to coax their abusive partner into therapy.
- Going to or suggesting couple's counseling.
- Trying to get their abusive partner into a batterer intervention program.
On the surface, each of these courses of action may seem to make sense. But in reality, it is up to the abusive partner to change. So, you are left with a choice; stay in a dangerous situation hoping your partner finds the willingness to change or leave and begin your life anew.
But admittedly, leaving an abusive relationship can be a frightening ordeal. Depending on your circumstances, it may be best to plan and prepare for your escape. In this way, you have a better chance of making a safe and permanent break.
And you don't have to go through such a daunting experience alone. There are services, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline, that you can contact for advice. And an experienced family attorney can provide assistance in a number of ways, including helping you get an emergency order of protection filed against your abusive partner. While such a step may seem extreme, it could save your life.