The experience of dissolving one's marriage can be painful and complicated. When a child is involved, it can be even more so. While most parents and Illinois courts do strive to make decisions in the best interest of the child, sometimes parents forget how children also suffer emotionally from the divorce experience. Indeed, divorce is not merely about the parents, it is also about the kids, and there are some things that parents can keep in mind to make the process easier on them.
One thing that parents can do is to provide children with a routine and a regular schedule. This can provide a sense of comfort to children when other aspects of their family lives may feel like chaos. Parents can also help their children by not engaging in bad-talk about their ex-spouses. This will certainly help one's children in the short-term and in the long-term, it will reflect positively on the parent who refrains from such negative talk.
As difficult as it may be to achieve, being more physically and emotionally present for children, giving little ones plenty of physical affection and giving teenagers a lot of talk time will do wonders for a child's emotional state. Occasionally reassuring children that they were not responsible for the divorce is something that kids will benefit from hearing as well. Providing this kind of reassurance often and regularly is very important for children.
There are other things that divorcing parents can do to make sure that they are navigating their separation in the best interest of the child. In a particularly difficult divorce, for example, if spouses can at least come together to agree on how they will describe the separation's consequences to their children, it can be enormously helpful as well.
Couples can also rely on professional assistance to make sure that the legal aspects of their divorce are finalized in the best interest of the child and themselves. For example, many couples choose to mediate divorce disagreements, as opposed to litigating them in court, and this can save a great deal of money, stress and time for everyone involved.
Source: The Huffington Post, "Remember, Your Children Are Going Through This Divorce Too" Michelle Crosby, May. 06, 2014