Jealousy can arise from a number of factors. Your partner might envy your popularity, looks, professional success, wealth or other characteristics. They may be insecure and struggle with self-esteem issues. Whatever the cause, jealousy is an emotion that, if it gets overwhelming or is illogical, can become an obstacle in your marriage. It may lead to unpleasant or outright abusive behavior. You may need to consider whether you want to save the marriage or pursue a divorce.
A bit of jealousy is human and forgivable. If, for instance, your spouse sees you engaged in an animated conversation with an attractive person at a party, they might have a few twinges of resentment. It might momentarily pique their jealousy. On the other hand, if a jealous spouse has so much fury that they can barely restrain it, then something is out of kilter.
When jealousy becomes a problem
Some signs of jealousy that has turned poisonous are these:
- Making unfounded accusations that your partner has been straying
- Isolating them from other people
- Spying on them and frequently checking their devices to know who they are in touch with
- Repeatedly asking your partner about minute details of what they do or who they associate with
- Acting paranoid about your partner’s whereabouts, friendships or daily activities
How jealousy can impact your marriage
As one expert put it, “Abnormal jealousy wreaks havoc on a relationship….” When trust between spouses is eroded and there is continual angry wrangling and groundless suspicion, a marriage can unravel fast. If you have done everything possible to heal your relationship but your partner’s jealousy causes it to deteriorate, you may want some information about the divorce process.