Prenups are increasingly popular these days, especially as people continue to marry later and enter into relationships well after they’re established their own wealth and independent lives.
But talking about a prenup with your intended spouse can be awkward at best. You don’t want to give the impression that you’re already doubting the viability of a marriage that hasn’t yet started and you certainly don’t want to trigger a reaction that could end your relationship.
So where do you start? Here are some suggestions:
1. Choose your timing carefully.
You don’t want to spring this conversation on your fiance in the middle of a romantic dinner. Nor do you want to sit down to the table ready to discuss a list of talking points before your intended has a chance to even think things through. Let your partner know that you want to discuss the issue and agree to talk about it after you’ve both had time to consider the proposition.
2. Be honest and reassuring.
Your fiance’s biggest fear may be that a prenup signals a lack of commitment. Let them know that this is a process you hope will get you on the same page with your future goals. You may want to remind them that prenups can actually prevent problems. If you were scarred by your parents’ bitter divorce, for example, explain that you’re just hoping to avoid a repeat experience. Helping your fiance understand your motivations can ease their concerns.
3. Don’t try to nail everything down at once.
You and your intended spouse should each have an attorney look over any potential prenuptial agreement for problems. More than likely, you’ll have to discuss your options more than once and try to find a compromise that is fair to both of you. That’s seldom accomplished in a single conversation.
Planning a marriage can be as complicated as planning a wedding — and is far more important. If you’re ready to talk about a prenup with your future spouse, find out more about where to start.