Do you want a reasonably peaceful divorce? It is possible to have — but only if you take care to avoid certain critical blunders.
Knowledge is power. If you recognize the mistakes that you’re making (or about to make), you can take steps to avert a disaster. Do any of these common mistakes sound familiar to you?
1. You’re incorrectly relying on a marital agreement
Prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements are handy tools that can help solve disputes — but they aren’t always properly done. Before you rely too concretely on your marital agreement, make sure that you have an attorney review it for validity.
2. You’re letting anger gain a foothold over your actions
Once you’ve decided to get a divorce, the time for anger is really over. Now, you need to compartmentalize your feelings for a while and focus on the practical aspects of your divorce. Find an outlet for your anger in your hobbies, your friends or your therapist — but keep your conversation with your spouse civil at all times. Effective communication is clear and calm.
3. You’re not focusing on what is most important
Sometimes, this goes along with letting your anger gain control — but not always. During a divorce, some people argue over every pot and pan in the kitchen and forget that they need to be focused on more important issues — like what their children need during this time, how they’re going to adapt financially and what visitation schedule they want.
4. You’re talking too much on social media
This will come back to haunt you. You should never say anything online that you would be embarrassed to hear read aloud in an open courtroom in front of the judge or your own children. If you can’t remain carefully neutral online about your divorce, take a social media hiatus.
If your divorce isn’t going as peacefully as you might hope, talk to your attorney and see if he or she has any insights into the situation that may ease the tensions.