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Finding ways to work together when parenting styles clash

| Mar 4, 2018 | Child Custody |

Parents in Illinois may not have a name for their style of parenting, but that does not mean they fail to recognize when their former spouse is taking a different tack. Sometimes, their methods may diverge so widely, it can cause problems for their children.

However, according to the Child Mind Institute, children do not suffer as much from inconsistency as they do when there is conflict between parents

Putting anger aside

Before parents can agree on anything, they have to want to work together to find an approach that works. Deciding not to immediately reject the other parent’s suggestions can be an important first step in reducing the conflict level.

Testing various methods

One parent may cling to a way of doing things because it is the way he or she has always done it. Deciding to consciously try the other parent’s way of doing things for a specific amount of time can help to identify what is right with it, and what may be a problem. Then the pros and cons of the results may be discussed rationally.

Finding differences that do not make a difference

GoodTherapy.org points out that each parent can expect the children to respect the house rules, even if the two houses have different rules. While bedtime routines, eating habits and other matters may vary, parents can still support each other’s authority, even if they do not agree on the details. 

Communicating effectively

Face-to-face interaction is not always the best method for parents who are experiencing a high level of conflict. Texts or emails may be better, as this allows parents to think about their answers carefully and avoid knee-jerk reactions. The important thing is to make sure both parents are informed of everything they need to be effective co-parents.

View the profile of Illinois Family Law Attorney Alex Fawell
DCBA | DuPAGE County Bar Association Member
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney