When a couple runs into marital troubles, they often turn to couples’ therapy for answers. Often, the therapist works with both spouses to try to find the best way for the couple to move forward with their lives. Rarely, however, does the therapist bring up the possibility of divorce.
This is according to a couple’s therapist who recently published an open letter to her colleagues on The Huffington Post. She says that although she considers divorce an acceptable conclusion to couples’ therapy, many other therapists do not follow this line of reasoning.
For many couples, divorce is viewed as “failure,” and, therefore, it is avoided at all costs. Unfortunately, many therapists enter therapy with the same idea, and thus go to great lengths to avoid the topic. In these cases, divorce becomes the enemy.
According to the author of the open letter, however, couples and therapists shouldn’t view divorce in this light. Rather, divorce is one of many options, one that is acceptable and correct under certain circumstances.
She describes seeing clients for whom she knows there can be no reconciliation and no chance at long-term happiness. In these cases, she says, it is wrong to push for the continuation of the marriage, as this would be doing harm to the couple and their family. It would be better, in these situations, to bring up the possibility of divorce as a way to move forward with one’s desires and goals.
Few people view divorce as a positive thing, but according to this therapist, it should not be viewed negatively, either. Rather, it is a tool that one can use to escape an unhappy or dysfunctional situation, a tool that should at least deserve consideration in a therapy setting.
The Huffington Post, “An Open Letter To Divorce Therapists” Susan Pease Gadoua, Nov. 04, 2013