Posted on September 27, 2021 in Child Custody

Parents generally don't have to worry all that much about having to prove that they're fit to parent while married or things are going well in their relationship. Absent allegations of abuse or neglect, no one generally questions their ability to parent.

During a divorce, however, custody disputes can become fierce. While you may be conscious of many things that can affect the outcome of your case, there are some more obscure concerns — like the following — that could end up with the same result:

Poor hygiene and appearance

Someone's personal grooming habits can say a lot about how well they take care of themselves and their surroundings, such as their car or home. This is, in part, why judges like parents to appear in front of them before they render any custody decisions.

A judge might worry about how effective you'll be at parenting if you appear in their courtroom disheveled and unkempt. Since we know that poor hygiene can give way to illnesses, a judge may avoid awarding you custody if they're unsure that you can preserve the good health of your child.

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 Posted on September 20, 2021 in Divorce

If you want out of your marriage, why on earth would consider living with your ex-spouse after your marriage is over?

Well, mostly for the sake of convenience. Maybe you have young children, and neither you nor your ex-spouse wants to disrupt their lives until they’re old enough to understand the concept of two different homes. Maybe your teenager is close to graduating high school, and you don’t want them to have to finish at a new school. Maybe you both just like where you live and can’t afford a similar lifestyle on your own.

Whatever your reasons, living with an ex-spouse can work — as long as you follow some basic guidelines:

No new partners get to come to the home

You and your ex-spouse both need to be free to move on — but neither of you should shove a new partner in the other’s face.

Make an agreement that you will both keep your new relationships away from the home. (If one of those relationships turns serious, then it’s time to end the post-divorce cohabitation.)

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 Posted on September 13, 2021 in Divorce

There are two types of classification of states when it comes to the division of property in a divorce: Community property states and equitable distribution states. In community property states, all the marital assets get divided 50/50.

Illinois, however, is an equitable distribution state where property may or may not be divided equally. In equitable distribution states, the goal is to make sure that the distribution and division of a couple’s property and debts are done equitably — and that may not mean splitting things down the middle.

Circumstances that may result in an unequal distribution of assets and debts

Since Illinois is an equitable distribution state, the following factors are considered when fairly and equitably dividing assets and debts:

• Contributions: The court takes into consideration each spouse’s contributions towards purchases and investments.
• Length of marriage: The court also considers the length of the marriage. The longevity or brevity of marriage may result in an unequal distribution of assets.

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 Posted on September 05, 2021 in Child Custody

The custody arrangements that both child psychologists and the courts deem best for children have shifted over the past few years. The current consensus is that joint or shared custody is what's best for kids.

Not all situations are the same, though. Not all parents employ the same approach to parenting, nor are the demands on their time the same. A 50/50 custody schedule might not be realistic for all parents -especially ones with demanding careers.

Is 50/50 custody possible given your family dynamics?

Many parents who share 50/50 custody generally have their kids for certain days during the week. Others may have their kids on alternating weeks. There are other variations as well.

Various factors determine which custody schedule parents implement. Whether a child is old enough to return from school to an empty home alone and take care of themselves is likely to impact custodial arrangements. A parent's work schedule and whether they have to travel for their job may also impact how much parenting time they can assume.

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 Posted on August 27, 2021 in Child Custody

There are so many unique and new terms related to child custody that it can feel like learning a new language. People talk about co-parenting, parallel parenting and different kinds of custody, often without any explanation about what they really mean.

Some of these terms are deceptive and mean something other than what you may have originally imagined. Split custody is a perfect example. Some people think that split custody is just another term for shared custody or co-parenting.

However, split custody actually refers to a specific kind of shared custody arrangement.

Split custody can benefit families with multiple children

When parents agree to split custody in a family with several children, what they agree to is that certain chidlren will stay with each parent. Parents can either agree that the split arrangement is consistent, or they can alternate which children they care for.

They can either exchange custody or arrange for visitation with the children who live with the other parent. In some cases, the family may even agree to sibling visitation so that the kids can all spend time together too, which is important to their bonds with one another.

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 Posted on August 22, 2021 in Divorce

Combining your household with your spouse when you get married often means that you share almost everything in your lives. You probably own your house together and likely share cars and insurance policies as well. Commingled finances often mean that you share debts as well as assets.

Many couples also have shared credit cards that either spouse can use for household expenses. If you file for divorce in Illinois, what happens to those joint credit cards?

Equitable distribution laws apply to debts as well as assets

When a couple files for divorce in Illinois, they either have to negotiate their property division themselves and file an uncontested divorce or they have to ask a judge to rule on the division of their property. If the judge has the final say in the distribution of your marital estate, they will have to apply equitable distribution rules to your household assets. Family law judges have to consider marital circumstances and focus on fairness when dividing marital property.

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 Posted on August 16, 2021 in Divorce

Very few of the decisions you make in your life will have as strong of an impact on your children as the decision to file for divorce. Divorce can affect everything from your children’s standard of living to what schools they attend.

You probably already know that divorce will be hard on your children. Being conscious of that impact is important, especially when you first tell your children about the changes they will soon experience.

What should you tell the children?

Unless your kids are old enough to understand intimate, interpersonal relationships, they probably don't need details about why you and your co-parent are divorcing. Knowing that one parent has cheated or has started compulsively gambling could damage their relationship with that parent or even their perception of themselves.

Most of the time, keeping the explanations simple and clarifying that it has nothing to do with them is more important than giving your children an in-depth explanation of your personal reasons for filing.

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 Posted on August 16, 2021 in Divorce

If you are unhappy in your marriage, getting a divorce could be a possible solution. Some people, especially those who are older, are often concerned about how a gray divorce could impact them and their retirements. Others are concerned about how they may be perceived if they divorce when they’re older.

Gray divorce is seeing an increase globally, not just in the United States. Why? There are all kinds of reasons why people divorce, but some of the most common include that they:

• Are not as reliant on each other’s incomes to have a stable home. Women, for example, are more likely to have their own homes and to be independently employed, so that they have their own income and retirement accounts
• Over 50% of people reaching mid-life in the world today live to be 85, on average
• Many couples have children later in life, so they are reaching a point where they are comfortable separating once they reach their 50s

These and other causes have led to an increase in divorces overall. That being said, there are factors you should consider before divorcing at this age. Divorces aren’t the right choice for all couples, but many will benefit.

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 Posted on August 08, 2021 in Uncategorized

In divorces around the country, there are cases involving family pets. In most states, pets are treated the same as any other property and are subject to property division rules. In Illinois, this isn’t the case. In fact, judges now have the power to make decisions about the pet’s best interests during a divorce.

Pet custody may sound unusual, but it’s a real matter of contention for many pet parents. The reality is that pets are living creatures with feelings and preferences, so it makes sense to treat them more like family than inanimate property.

Illinois treats animals like the family they are

In Illinois, the state is a pioneer in that it believes that pets should be placed in the home that is going to provide the best care for them. Pets can have a custody schedule just like children.

In some cases, pet parents may opt to share custody of their pet even after a divorce is over. Just like with child custody cases, pet custody cases can result in a pet parenting plan and custody arrangements for beloved dogs, cats or other pets.

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 Posted on August 01, 2021 in Divorce

You’ve made the decision to seek a divorce. Now you just have to tell your spouse.

While you suspect that your spouse may not find your marriage any more fulfilling than you do, you also believe that they still want to make things work. You don’t expect this conversation to be easy, but you want to set a tone for the future that will allow for an amicable parting.

Where do you even start? Here are some suggestions:

Time your conversation carefully

You know your spouse the best, so you know whether it’s better to talk to them about something serious early in the morning or in the evening, in a public place or in private. Just be sensitive to whatever else is going on in their lives.

For example, if your spouse is about to give a big presentation at work, this conversation can probably wait for a few days.

Be clear, honest and kind

This isn’t the time to rehash every small thing that went wrong in your marriage — or even the big ones. Instead, this is the time to dig deep for your essential truths: You just aren’t happy in the relationship. You don’t feel complete. You feel drained of some vital energy that you need to thrive.

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