Only you and your spouse truly understand what led to your decision to divorce. If you've been married 10 years or more, you've likely encountered many relationship challenges and have perhaps overcome quite a few. There is no way to predict which marriages will stand the test of a lifetime and which will face issues that spouses determine they are unable to resolve.
Regardless of whether you were the one to file for divorce, you no doubt have been experiencing a wide range of emotions as you prepare to achieve a settlement. Divorce is never easy and can be emotionally traumatic on many levels. The stronger your support system, the better. This is especially true if you have children or are facing legal problems regarding custody, visitation or property division.
Ways to find closure
You can't undo time that has already passed; therefore, you will always have memories of your spouse and the years you spent together. The following list includes things other spouses say they had to let go in order to find emotional healing after divorce:
- Many spouses say the biggest impediment to their emotional well-being following divorce was anger, and that once they were able to let go of their anger, true healing began to take place.
- Sadness often accompanies anger in divorce. Even if you are the one who filed, you may still be sad or lonely or confused about how you feel toward your former spouse - - letting go of sadness is also a means toward emotional recovery.
- Living in the same house you shared with your spouse in marriage may prove too emotionally difficult for you; if so, letting go of your home may be the first logical step toward recovering emotionally after divorce.
- At some point, you'll likely go through all the items you have that your spouse gave you as gifts or others gave you as wedding presents. There is no need to keep such things if they cause you further emotional upset.
As for your children, generally speaking, children are quite adaptable. As long as they know they are not to blame for your divorce and that you love them and will support them as they deal with their own emotions, things may turn out well.
If you're facing legal issues that are causing you stress and are keeping you from healing emotionally, you can reach out for support to help rectify the problem so you can leave the past behind and focus on building new memories with your kids.