If you have reached the point where you feel like you can't stay another day in your marriage, you likely did not arrive at this decision overnight. Like many Illinois couples, the feeling may have built from a series of disappointments and misunderstandings, or your marriage may have broken down as a result of one pivotal event.
Marriage isn't easy for most people, and the divorce rate may attest to that. However, psychologists say that the struggles in one marriage are often similar to the struggles in most marriages. The difference between staying married and getting divorce is often how the couples react to those struggles.
Sometimes, daily life just wears on you. If you and your spouse have dealt with financial issues throughout most of your marriage, you may have finally decided you aren't willing to share that burden anymore. Perhaps your spouse spends your money faster than you can earn it or is resentful that you earn more. These are only two of the many ways in which money can lead to divorce if a couple is unable or unwilling to work through the core issues.
Another problem that may have been building for a while is your spouse's addiction. If your spouse drinks or has a drug habit, you may be weary of cleaning up the messes and dealing with the embarrassment and loneliness. While some spouses are able to help each other through rehabilitation, this option may be trumped by the well-being of your children or your own peace of mind.
Even though it may seem like one event brought on the dissolution of the marriage, it is likely that the trust was already eroding. For example, you may point to your spouse's infidelity as the decisive moment in your marriage. If you have been through this betrayal before, you may be less likely to attempt a reconciliation.
One thing that often tears couples apart is a catastrophic event. The death of a child or a cancer diagnosis may place undue stress on an already fragile marriage. While couples have come through these events stronger and more determined to stay together, others find that it is too difficult to avoid placing blame or taking on guilt. If you have gone through an event that changed your life, chances are that it also changed your marriage.
Only you know the qualities of your marriage and the ultimate reasons why you and your spouse grew apart. Your task now is to protect yourself by ensuring that your rights and interests are defended as you proceed toward divorce and all that it encompasses.